Serenity is Being Married To Your Best Friend

"Serenity Is Being Married To Your Best Friend ."

I can hear the boos and hisses already by those who are tired of the romantic, kissy, kissy kind of relationship or marriage with pda's (public displays of affection) and later finding out that those couples have broken off their relationship. I admit I was like that when I was younger. However, there is something to be said for mature relationships/marriages. I know from experience. Maturity brings serenity. No,I am not a marriage counselor. I can only share my experience.

July 22, 1972
I was married the first time when I was a very young, immature 24 year old, but I thought I knew it all. The man I married was 26, and he too was immature. My parents tried to talk me out of marrying him, but, of course I would show them they were wrong, and things would be wonderful. So what if we had nothing in common except physical attraction. Opposites attract, right? Well, not always. So what does one do but try and "change" that person to your interests.

He liked country music, I liked classical. I was a social person and he preferred staying home and watching TV. I likes to dance, he didn’t. I liked to read, yep, you guessed it. He didn't. We couldn’t carry on a conversation with each other about current events, or anything else, really.. Very sad indeed.

We argued a lot because I had to have my way. I was very selfish then but didn’t know any better. I had to have instant gratification. To make a long story short, we divorced two and a half years later. I definitely did not experience Serenity in that relationship.

October 12, 1975
Columbus Day that year. I met my present husband on that day by chance. We talked and discovered we had a lot in common. Music, books, writing, concerts, dinners, you name it; we were so much alike. Even down to having both been divorced. Our parents knew of each other in the community. In fact, my husband’s Father taught my Grandfather’s Sunday School Class. Things happened quickly. Our first date was that night! We became best of friends and went together 4 years before we decided to get married.
Since we both had been married once before, we talked about what we both wanted in a marriage, and what mistakes we wanted to avoid this time around. Some things we agreed on were:
1. We wouldn’t try to change one another.
2. We would try to honor and respect each other always.
3. We would build each other up rather than having a contest to see which one of us could tear the other one down the most.
4.We would be supportive of one another,
5.No name calling. That only shows our lack of communication skills and immaturity.
5. No lies...Ever.
6. This is the best of all...Always remain best friends and treat each other the same way one would treat another "best" friend.

We were married on Christmas Eve, December 24,1979.

Have we kept all of those promises to one another? Well, I'm happy to say most of them. No we are not perfect. We are human like every other couple. We do have our moments, believe me. BUT, we do not yell, scream, call each other names, or get in the car in a fit of anger and drive off putting not only ourselves in danger, but every one else on the road. Thank God we are more mature than that. We can talk things through for the most part. It is important to say I’m sorry and mean it. Even if you have to swallow your pride and say it first, just do it. Life is too short.

How have I matured to have Serenity in my marriage? Well, I work really hard on not being selfish. I try to remain positive no matter what. It is so unhealthy to think in the negative all the time. I have learned to be a helpmate rather than a "mother" to my husband. I try to make sure I am supportive in all of my husband’s endeavors. Even though we feel each one of us is an equal partner, I believe in supporting my husband’s decisions concerning a major change in our lives such as a major purchase or a move. After God, my husband is head of our household.

Serenity and Peace in my marriage? You bet. See it is possible. We are living proof.. Always marry your best friend and remain friends for ever and ever. Remain best friends for Eternity.